I'm really strapped for ideas, aren't I? Think Satellite Cannon, except it charges in the Graveyard, and does so more slowly. On the plus side, you'll have a 2600+ beater in your Graveyard in case of emergency; on the other hand, it loses ATK twice as fast once actually on the field. That, and I think it's kind of cute by shadowy monster standards.
The Thing from the Back of the Fridge
DARK
Level 6
Fiend/Effect
This monster cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This monster must first be Special Summoned from your Graveyard after your 2nd Standby Phase this card has been in the Graveyard. Increase the ATK and DEF of this monster by 300 each Standby Phase this card is in the Graveyard. Decrease the ATK and DEF of this monster by 600 each Standby Phase this card is on the field.
2000/2000
The Thing from the Back of the Fridge
DARK
Level 6
Fiend/Effect
This monster cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This monster must first be Special Summoned from your Graveyard after your 2nd Standby Phase this card has been in the Graveyard. Increase the ATK and DEF of this monster by 300 each Standby Phase this card is in the Graveyard. Decrease the ATK and DEF of this monster by 600 each Standby Phase this card is on the field.
2000/2000